Question:  I just don’t know what to do with my elderly aunt and uncle.  Part of me feels sorry for them and wants to help.  He has Parkinson’s and she has Alzheimer’s.  I try to help them, but she hits me every time he leaves the room when I’m with her.  He tells people lies about me like I never try to help.  Their son doesn’t even check up on them.  They are constantly trying to run me off my own land.  It’s taking a toll on my health.  Any suggestions would be deeply appreciated.

Answer:  What a difficult situation for you (and everyone concerned).  There is no easy solution to this – the energy is so volatile and frustrating.  All you can do is try to protect yourself more than you do.  Visualize a light around yourself before going near them.  Try to take someone, anyone along with you so that you’re not alone to take any abuse.  I believe there are people who could help even if it would be a social service person – try your local health department and see if anyone else can help out.

I wish there was an easier or more usable tool for this situation.  All you can do is try to protect yourself.  Send them light and love and try to hang on.

Comment: If you have a question you want answered, please send it to me by visiting the Intuive Advice Column on my website.

Question:  Once again I have let myself get caught up in a relationship that is very difficult on me.  I always end up helping the other but for all appearances it brings me down though I do grow.  Currently I wonder if I haven’t let myself be very manipulated by my current (3 year) boyfriend.  Even with obvious lies and angry and violent outbursts from him, I still feel protective enough not to take the hard road and just give him the boot.  I wish to ease myself out of this relationship.  Am I fooling myself and should I do this in one strong sweep?  Why do I continue to do this?

Answer:  Thank you for your thoughtful question.  At least you read your own energy quite well – you are exactly right.  You are putting yourself in very similar learning situations.  The important thing to realize is that you’ve learned those lessons already – no need to repeat them.  If this relationship is as unhealthy as it sounds, I suggest you remove yourself from it as soon as possible.  Don’t wait for an excuse, and there’s not usually a “gentle” alternative to ending this kind of relationship.  You have to be strong and aware as you move into a healthier space.  You have plenty of strong energy to do just that.

I believe you continue to do this because it’s a familiar pattern and that’s where we, as human beings, tend to go first.  It takes much more effort to wait and find a different kind of relationship.  I suggest you plan to spend plenty of time “alone” if you choose to leave.  That helps change your focus and invite in a time to learn new lessons instead of old ones.

Comment: If you have a question, please send it to me by visiting the Intuive Advice Column on my website.